Get all 3 Sheiks of Neptune releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Attack of the Tiki Titans, Come Drink With The Sheiks, and Astrosurf.
1. |
Technicolor Blood
03:13
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Softcore porn and zombies
Leather biker gangs
High speed races, tortured girls
Excruciating pain
Bikini girls getting sawed
Plastic severed limbs
Kung fu chaos flying kicks
By a three foot Indian
Blood
Flowing down the cinema
Exploiting all my grindhouse love
Technicolor blood
Flowing down the cinema
Exploiting all my grindhouse love
Technicolor
Machetes and machine guns
On that tarnished screen
Guys are getting beatings
From ferocious nazi queens
Spaghetti eating cowboys
Twitching eyes as they stand off
Latex monster grabs a girl
And all her clothes fall off
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2. |
Space Wizard
04:00
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I’m haunted by a space wizard
who lives on the edge
and I can’t live
being tormented by all of his tricks
drops my pants
with a flick of his wrist
expectopatrono no no na no no
makes my beer disappear
expectopatrono no no na no no no
there’s no escape
all of my dates fail
from all of his pranks
and my downfall
I go to the ball wearing no clothes at all
shrinks my wand
and now its gone
expectopatrono no no na no no
plastic snakes
cut the line on my brakes
expectopatrono no no na no no no
Space Wizard go!
and I’m so blind
he tickles my behind
my mind my mind
I’m losing control I don’t have much time
-bow down to me-
his entity overpowers me
expectopatrono oh no
third eye opens now i see
expectopatrono no no na no no no
he says
I am the one
who controls the land
the power corrupts the power commands
I grow weak but my mind is grand
from peasants to kings to grains of sand
together we can rule with a mighty hand
combine our knowledge and settle our past
our power shall be great our kingdom vast
I said those who came before me have failed and cowered
but I am the almighty drunk with power
I am the Space Wizard
bow down to me
all hail the Space Wizard
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3. |
Sex at Lightspeed
03:08
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I got a staff but it just won’t last
my little mast goes away too fast
I do my best when I get undressed
but I’ll leave you hanging
after one quick blast
sex at lightspeed baby
sex at lightspeed
sex at lightspeed honey
I’m a done in a one-two-three
and I can’t hit the G
and you’re still waiting on me
sex at lightspeed baby
sex at lightspeed
come on to me and get your treat
come rub my belly
and I’ll rub your feet
but won’t be long
before you hear that gong
I’ve got a shuffle with no repeat
ten whole minutes to enlarge
five whole seconds to discharge
I’m rolled over and catching Zs
I hope you’re not
still waiting on me
you could always watch TV
if nothing’s on I got DVDs
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4. |
Dance to the Doomsday
03:40
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when the Sheiks roll into town
and your star’s about to drown
your planet in a deathly shroud
raining fire all around
just dance along
now don’t throw a fit
‘cause the Sheiks
will take care of it
we are experts at the game
of drink and song
and dance and play
when the bar goes up in flames
we’ll take three shots
and fly away
lava flows and the concrete splits
witness the death of your planet
just dance along
dance until the booze runs out
dance until your legs give out
dance until the sun dies out
dance until you puke your insides out
your insides out
on the eve of thee apocalypse
Sheiks will take care of it
come and dance your life away
come and dance all night
the universe will melt away
but everything’s alright
this black hole will kill us all
what a glorious sight
so come and dance your life away
let’s dance until we die
hey hey lets dance ‘til doomsday
dance until the moon disintegrates
dance until the seas evaporate
dance until the rise up of the apes
dance because we know
there’s no escape
from the eve of the apocalypse
Sheiks will take care of it
dance until the booze runs out
until your legs give out
dance until the sun burns out
for the rest of our lives
dance until the moon disintegrates
dance until the seas evaporate
dance until the rise up of the apes
dance until we die
dance until we die
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5. |
Goblin
03:37
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green and black
the goblin armies attack
for seventy years
they cowered in fear
but now the marauders are back
green and black
the goblin armies attack
for seventy years
they cowered in fear
but now the marauders are back
flashes of blue and green
as far as the eye can see
rides the goblin horde
blood curdling screams
atop the grinding machines
rides the goblin horde
oil sweat and steel
ultra sonic demonic wheels
vest chaps hot pants
howling with a deafening chant
blasters on their hips
attacking unaware ships
taking the cargo and booze
and maiming and killing
and eating the crew
the massacre goes on
bloodbath marathon
explosions in the sky
when you hear the war cry
it’ll be your last mai tai
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6. |
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red lights all around
and a deafening shrieking sound
our perception of reality
was twisted and phasing
and then all of a sudden
we were on the ground
somehow transported
from our home
to the rocky surface of a fiery stone
robot parts beneath our feet
and piled up to our waist
there’s something oddly familiar
about this abandoned place
and as we scrambled to get back on track
we heard a crack right behind our backs
galactic gurus with a sneak attack
we’re back from the robot graveyard
from the robot graveyard
we’re back from the robot graveyard
galactic gurus with a sneak attack
we’re back
they had all the means that were necessary
to build transporter beams
they searched the galaxy for the sheiks
they swept every planet clean
for you see the fuel converter we stole
it was no ordinary piece
it was the blood the breath the heart the sole
of their ancient queen
brimstone and ice hailing all around
as the gurus placed her heart back into the ground
the earth cracked open in a firey blaze
placing the gurus in a chanting daze
from the belly of the beast rose their ancient queen
the most terrifying monster I had ever seen
we all tried to avoid her gaze
but she peered into our souls and then she says
for twelve long years I have been a slumber
the earth and the ice I have been trapped under
for the Sheiks of Neptune’s theft and plunder
now feel my wrath on a path of thunder
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7. |
Happy Hour
01:38
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Poop fart butt schlingus
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8. |
Beautiful Baby
02:24
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I’ve got ooze coming out of my third eye
my third eye is down in my pants
I’ve got warts
on every single one of my knuckles
on every single one of my hands
I got legs that go up to the sky
and an itty bitty baby torso
I’m the sexy waisted
make you wanna put your hands all on me
I’m a tasty disproportionate morsel
I must have been a beautiful baby
‘cause baby just look at me now
I got all the best features
of all your favorite creatures
goddamn it would you look at me now
my tail is coming in a bit slowly though
but don’t worry baby it’ll get there
if you can get past
all the bumps and the scratches
then maybe you can get past the hair
some call it pheromones and some call it musk
but baby I just call it underarm funk
I’ve got shin splints a triple chin
and underneath my belly
is where I keep my skin
attached to my ass is my unborn twin
you can call him Jeremy Bradley or Nate
but either way we’ll call it our double date
it’s a me-some threesome
Cinderella dream come true
oh baby I was built just for you
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9. |
Beatdown in Bedrock
03:39
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when we landed on a stone age planet
it was a ba ba ba beatdown
dinos and mammoths and cavemen and tar pits
ba ba ba ba ba ba beatdown
we landed there
and tried to make some friends but
they tried to club us in the head
what?
it was a ba ba ba beatdown in bedrock
ba ba ba ba ba ba beatdown
it was a beatdown in bedrock baby
ba ba ba ba ba ba beatdown
it was a beatdown in bedrock baby
ba dubba dubba du ba ba ba
don’t mess around with drunk astronauts
it don’t take much to really piss us off
we punched them back with our powergloves
and melted off all of their loin clothes
they tried to sic all the dinos on us
we fought back with the mind control
we had the dinos flatten the houses
and the Lodge of the Buffalos
the dinos smashed up the bowling alley
the planet had become overrun
the cavemen knew they were cavemen beat
hopped in their car and started to run
we laughed so hard when they floated up
‘cause we hit them hard with the gravity gun
they gave up and said take what you want
we took the Great Gazoo just for fun
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10. |
Rebel Girl
03:04
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11. |
Nukes in Space
03:18
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well step right up my ladies and gents
I’ve got a product your money’s well spent
it’s called Nuke and it mutates you
step right up and see the main event
you sir would you like
the claws of a lobster
madam would you like
the strength of an ant
chameleon skin
will change the color of your legs
you sir no longer have to wear pants
you could have the wings of a bat
a rattlesnake tongue now imagine that
a full head of hair neck of a giraffe
this one gives you nine lives of a cat
get big muscles like Hulk Hogan
orangutan arms that drag the street
you could even get bigger feet
‘cause you know what they say
about guys with big feet
all of your dreams
they can come true
make improvements
on the new you
radiation mutation alteration elevation
my salvation elongation activation
Nukes in space
an extra liver now go have a blast
your drinking powers will be unsurpassed
never mind sir no I wouldn’t recommend it
super strength livers sober up too fast
maybe you want X-ray specs
it’s a bird it’s a plane no that’s just Jeff
you could have a kangaroo pouch
with only minor side effects
there are just so many to choose
all gluten free you just can’t lose
try it on your dog or cat
it’s almost FDA approved
what’s that ma’am “What’s inside?”
don’t worry ma’am no one has died
first ones free it’s on me
better act now we’re in short supply
alright sir
I can see you got the discerning eye
come around to the back of the cart
I’ve got something special for you
what’s that? sure you want a bigger brain
well of course I have that
but you don’t want that
trust me sir you want the smaller brain
an IQ of 37 you’re in heaven
ignorance is bliss
it’s like being drunk 24/7
you could be drunk for the rest of your miserable life
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12. |
Planet Hex
02:22
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there was a party in the spaceship
a banquet in the sky
everybody’s drinking
‘til the bar stocks all ran dry
we had sexy go-go dancers
we planned to dance all night
yeah you would never catch us sober
yeah we would rather die
so we kicked it into hyperspace
hightailed it through the land
for the most exotic beverages
we could slip into our hands
little did I know
we were about to loose our bobbles
our bobbles Barry!
our bobbles
that’s when we saw the planet
Planet Hex ahead
full of giant creatures
all with shrunken heads
they danced around the fire
la la la la la
they placed a hex upon us all
we danced around the fire
all of us were hypnotized
blind and drunk and paralyzed
that made all of us realized
this night would never end
lava’s overflowing
all our head’s were spinning
our night was just beginning
our night on Planet Hex
fast forward thirty years
our rum had all run dry
reminisced about the place
where the party never died
so we kicked it into hyperspace
hightailed it through the land
for the most exotic beverages
we could slip into our hands
they danced around the fire
la la la la la
they placed a hex upon us all
we danced around the fire
all of us were hypnotized
blind and drunk and paralyzed
that made all of us realize
this night would never end
lava’s overflowing
all our heads were spinning
our night was just beginning
our night on Planet Hex
fast forward thirty years
our rum had all run dry
reminisced about that place
where the party never died
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13. |
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in ancient times they were locked away
but the tiki titans were awoke today
by some plasma miners who dug too deep
and released their leader
with a titan shriek
it had three arms and a mask aflame
with a searing voice Zangool’s my name
goliath rose and began to stomp
and ate that camp in one big chomp
attack!
the tiki titans
attack!
attack of the tikis
Zangool went to free the other two
the titan twins Ru and Bombaku
who were sealed away on a frozen moon
Zangool melted with a fiery boom
reunited in all their might
eternally driven to destroy all life
we should all hide we should all run
tiki titans are total destruction!
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Sheiks of Neptune Las Vegas, Nevada
From the outer reaches of the galaxy, the Sheiks of Neptune travel through space in their trusty rusty cosmonaughty spaceship, The Chuggernaut on a never ending quest for booze, cat girls and booze.
Hail Neptune!
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